Welcome to our first blog for Mama's Guide To Divorce! When coming up with this blog my focus was to give you background on why we started this site and who we are!
Now to understand my story, lets go back a little so I can tell you a little bit about my self. I grew up in Florida with my Italian parents that are still married today. I had a sister who I consider my best friend and I honestly did have the perfect childhood. Of course I had my first heartbreak, mean girls to deal with and just the normal adolescent trials that made me who I am today but, life was pretty great. I watched my parents have a loving marriage and just figured that one day I would have the same.They weren't always the perfect couple but, they always made it worked and I never doubted how much they loved each other.
I left home at 18 and went to college in south Florida. It was the normal college life, to much drinking, to much dating, not enough studying. I graduated with honors and 2 months later met what would be my soon to be husband. Just a piece of advice, if you have a daughter in her 20s, doesn't let her get married!!! Recently we just went on a family trip to Savannah, Georgia, which I guess is the #1 destination for bachelorette parties. I cringed seeing the 2 dozen plus brides that didn't look like they were a day over 19. I wish I would of known then what I know now. It took everything in me to not stop each one of those parties and tell them "Don't do it!" But as we all know when your in your 20s you know everything their was nothing my parents could of done to of stopped me from getting married. Thinking back it would have been nice to of got my life a little more situated before I met my husband. But, I guess that wasn't gods plan. Later, I will realize gods plan was a lot better then mine anyway.
I met my husband when I was 22. It was exciting and new. He promised me the world. We had the same goals, ambitions, wanted the same things out of life! He proposed when I was 25 and we were married a year later. I had the fairytale beach wedding with all the trimmings! I thought I was happy, I thought this is how life was supposed to be. Now looking back, I don't know if I ever was. There is a point in life, where you start going along with what society told me I was supposed to do. Go to school, graduate, get married, have babies. I did exactly that! With that being said, I couldn't wait to start this next chapter of my life. I still look at old pictures and wonder where did everything go so wrong. Were we actually ever happy, what happened to my prince charming?
The next few years after that were filled with ups and downs. New houses, babies, and new jobs. I started my own company (which later on I would find out was a blessing that I did). After two horrible pregnancies and one miscarriage I had my two beautiful daughters. My girls made me complete. But in the midst of it, pregnancy put a lot of stress on my marriage. My first daughter had many problems in utero and my husband and I dealt with it in totally two different ways. I shut down during that time in my life and felt very depressed; my husband took his stress out by working more and barely being home. This was the beginning of the end of our relationship. At the end, we were able to bring homeour two blessings Sienna and Milan. Now I have to stop here and rave about how much I love being a mom. As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. My girls were my world the second I laid eyes on them and are still today. I would do anything for them and prayed night after night that they would have a "perfect" life. Even if that meant me staying in a marriage for way longer then I should of.
Now back to my story, in 2010 we built our second house, this was the second most stressful time of our lives and again, we dealt with that stress differently. I put all of my heart and soul into my children. My husband worked more and unfortunately gained some vices. At this point we were on a quick track to disaster. Materialistic things were becoming more and more important to my husband and less and less important to me. Trust me, I am not saying I was the perfect wife, honestly I was far from it but I never would of stopped trying for my girls to have the perfect family. Unfortunately, I found myself becoming what I like to call it, "a single married mom". My husband was never home but instead at this time chose work and money. The life I wanted and dreamed of was nothing that I had. Now I know what your thinking, hold on this girl sounds like she had the dream life! 2 gorgeous kids, her own business, new cars, new house, what the hell is she complaining about! If this makes any sense, I had everything and nothing. This is the first time I learned in my life that I would rather live in a box full of love then in a mansion full of emptiness.
I hired a nanny that year to help me with the kids but also to be their as a companion for myself. I felt completely alone. I felt disconnected from my husband, family, and friends. I was lost.I still wanted what every little girl wants, I wanted my fairy tale. I wanted a husband that couldn't wait to leave work and get home to his family. I wanted a husband that would drop everything to play dress up with his daughters. I wanted family Sundays, I wanted a partner in life. When it comes down to it, I wanted what I grew up seeing in my childhood. I wanted a second half that I new I was his only and he was my forever. So, how can a girl have everything and have nothing? Very easily. As the years went by the fairy tale I was hoping for faded farther and farther away. Finally, one day, it just ended.
There was many times in my marriage that my husband threatened me with divorce. I fought harder and harder to try to make it work for my girls, my family. But finally I was done. Ill never forget the day he asked me for a divorce and the year that came after. Unfortunately my prince charming turned out to be an asshole.
We started this site in hope that other women going through divorce would not feel alone. We wanted to start a community to help women not just get through their divorce but get through it and become a stronger women while doing so.
In the next few weeks we will be posting blogs about finances, getting your sexy back, finding you again, and even getting back in the saddle! We hope that this site gives you encouragement that your life isn't ending because of divorce but, just beginning!
